"Never attribute to malice what can easily be attributed to stupidity"
Getting down with Hanlon's Razor...
I'm back. It's been ten days, but since I took a two-month break, I think it's OK to post off schedule. Over the last few days there has been a common theme coming up and that I've been reflecting on, and I really wanted to talk about it.
I waste far too much time on TikTok, but on the odd occasion, I am blessed with some helpful information or insights, and last week was a good one that I managed to put into action (yay me). In the video, whilst recording an on-street interview, someone walked in front of the camera, disrupting the dialogue. The interviewer expressed his annoyance, and the interviewee responded, "Never attribute to malice what can be attributed to incompetence," I couldn't tell you what happened after that because that quote had me in a chokehold. I immediately Googled it (I had a feeling he was quoting from someone else), which led me to discover Hanlon's Razor. The guy in the video changed the words slightly, but the principle is the same.
"Never attribute to malice what can easily be attributed to stupidity".
Hanlon's Razor is a principle that suggests we should not attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by incompetence or ignorance. In other words, when something goes wrong or someone's actions seem questionable, rather than assuming they acted with ill intent, it's often more reasonable to consider the possibility that their actions resulted from a lack of knowledge, skill, or understanding.
The idea behind Hanlon's Razor is to encourage people to have a more graceful interpretation of others' behaviours and to avoid jumping to negative conclusions. It reminds us that not everything negative is necessarily the result of intentional harm; sometimes, mistakes or misunderstandings are at play. Sometimes, self-preservation and self-sufficiency are at play.
Now, I take a lot of things personally, and I am very aware it's not good or healthy, particularly as personal experiences and my own character flaws have shown me that many things aren't personal. We are all trying our best with what we have; we're all living out this life off the back of one traumatic or character-changing experience, and how we show up within our spaces, whether it's friendship, romantic relationship or professional environments, is influenced by where we are at with ourselves and the health of that internal dialogue.
When I have an adverse experience with someone, the concept of not immediately assuming they have acted with ill intent is something I need to get behind. I envy you people who can do this naturally. My default position is to think, "Wow, I wouldn't do that to you so you can't care or have love for me," but that's not true. Life and humans are so much more nuanced than that. Over the weekend, I heard something that took me by surprise; the truth is, it hurt my feelings, it challenged me and had I not stopped myself, I could have let it undermine my position and my womanhood. As I said in my last post, I absolutely do not have time for that; my minerals are in abundance and excess. Whilst my feelings are valid and I have every right to process things how I need to, it is also true that the action was not done to cause harm. I was collateral damage in another pursuit.
I'll be honest: this realisation didn't immediately soothe the feelings I had, but what I did learn is
When I do not attribute malice to what can be attributed to thoughtlessness it allows me to show up with care by first reminding myself that someone's decisions and actions are not a determination of my capability or value.
It allows me to show up to others with love, grace, understanding and patience. All things that make it easier to have a conducive conversation, so long as you’re dealing with a willing and emotionally intelligent person of course.
The reality is we do not have any control over people, therefore we do not get to control their behaviours. I'm proud of myself for choosing a more self-loving path, for not being held hostage by decisions external to me and for choosing the path of least resistance. It reminded me that my value is not determined by anybody else but me. I'll end by saying, be guided; while many things are not personal, people are mad, and sometimes it is.
Photo of the week
Not really a photo but go to my website, I have stuff on there, I poured a lot into it when I didn’t have much in me and recently I’ve been really proud of what I produced. A reminder that I can literally make something out of nothing.
Song of the week
I found this group on TikTok and I’m obsessed…very smooth.